Well, today we are really really mad because we found out that while in Phoenix visiting friends Mommy cheated on us with other furry babies. Not just like a brief pet on the street but like a full on visit with snuggles, kisses and photos. So first you should see who we're dealing with. This is Daisy and Dahlia:
As you can see, they are brown and little, which is exactly what we would be if you combined us together.
We've been trying to figure out what we could do that would send Mommy a message that this is just not ok with us. Venus overheard a song by Carrie Underpants called "Before he Cheats" and said that it really expressed the feelings she has toward Mommy right now. So, she decided to write her own lyrics to the tune of this song. We hope Mommy reads it and feels really really bad. If you don't know this song, you should first listen to it on YouTube.
"Before Mommy Cheats" by Venus Messman
Right now, she's probably cuddling with those wieners somewhere in Phoenix, Arizona.
Right now, she's probably saying, "you're wee" and playing fetch with their gooey little bone-ahs.
Right now, she's probably petting their bellies and saying she wants to take them home...
But she don't know
That we rolled in our poop real good outside
Then snuck it past Daddy and brought it inside
We rubbed it all over Mommy's favorite seat
We took a real long pee in the TV room
And chewed a hole in her favorite shoes
Maybe next time she'll think before she cheats
Right now, she's probably snuggling with their bodies that are furry and shaped like hot dogs.
Right now, she's probably saying "you're smart and you should think about starting a blog."
Right now, she's probably telling them she loves their sweet little stinky feet
Oh but she don't know
That we ate some grass and puked it up
into her favorite Kate Spade clutch
We opened all her Coke bottles so they'd go flat
We chewed the legs on the dining room table
And asked Daddy to cancel Showtime on cable
Maybe next time Mommy'll think before she cheats.
Oh, maybe next time Mommy will think.... before she cheats.
Bow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow...
Bean and Venus