Before Mommy Cheats

Well, today we are really really mad because we found out that while in Phoenix visiting friends Mommy cheated on us with other furry babies. Not just like a brief pet on the street but like a full on visit with snuggles, kisses and photos. So first you should see who we're dealing with. This is Daisy and Dahlia:
As you can see, they are brown and little, which is exactly what we would be if you combined us together.

We've been trying to figure out what we could do that would send Mommy a message that this is just not ok with us. Venus overheard a song by Carrie Underpants called "Before he Cheats" and said that it really expressed the feelings she has toward Mommy right now. So, she decided to write her own lyrics to the tune of this song. We hope Mommy reads it and feels really really bad. If you don't know this song, you should first listen to it on YouTube.

"Before Mommy Cheats" by Venus Messman

Right now, she's probably cuddling with those wieners somewhere in Phoenix, Arizona.
Right now, she's probably saying, "you're wee" and playing fetch with their gooey little bone-ahs.
Right now, she's probably petting their bellies and saying she wants to take them home...
But she don't know

That we rolled in our poop real good outside
Then snuck it past Daddy and brought it inside
We rubbed it all over Mommy's favorite seat
We took a real long pee in the TV room
And chewed a hole in her favorite shoes
Maybe next time she'll think before she cheats

Right now, she's probably snuggling with their bodies that are furry and shaped like hot dogs.
Right now, she's probably saying "you're smart and you should think about starting a blog."
Right now, she's probably telling them she loves their sweet little stinky feet
Oh but she don't know

That we ate some grass and puked it up
into her favorite Kate Spade clutch
We opened all her Coke bottles so they'd go flat
We chewed the legs on the dining room table
And asked Daddy to cancel Showtime on cable

Maybe next time Mommy'll think before she cheats.
Oh, maybe next time Mommy will think.... before she cheats.
Bow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow...

xoxo,
Bean and Venus

Six more weeks of winter

Happy Belated Groundhog Day!! We hope you tuned in to watch Punxsutawney Phil predict this season's winter weather. He saw his shadow, which means 6 more weeks of winter for us. We wanted to double check his prediction, so we tried to see our own shadows:

As you can see from this picture, we too saw our shadows. So we guess old Phil is right. We wonder, tho, if Phil will ever adjust his predictions to account for global climate change. We noticed that it's warmer more often now and that instead of snow, we play in mud. We like it because it oozes through our toes and let us make paw print paths in Mommy's dining room. She does not like it and so she wipes our paws before we come inside.

If you want to learn more about climate change and to learn how you and your family can become carbon neutral, visit The Climate Change Project to take the pledge and get simple tips. We are doing our part by making sure Mommy & Daddy use compact fluorescent light bulbs. We also don't drive or use hot water. We haven't planted any trees, but we pee on them. That must do some good.

xoxo,
Jigga & Venus

Cookies and floating Doodles

We are once again so grateful to Stacia for sending yummy cookies home for us to eat. This time they're Christmas shapes -- a snowperson and a Santa hat (see left). They were so very delicious that we could hardly contain ourselves while we ate them. Can you guess which one I ate and which on Venus ate??

This weekend was also Mommy's birthday. We helped Daddy plan a full day of fun for her, which started off with Venus bringing in balloons to Mommy. Here is a picture of her after she woke up Mommy and got super afraid of the balloon:
It made her very nervous so we couldn't leave the balloon on her body for very long. Still, we had a great day and we're glad because we like to make Mommy happy. Look for another holiday post soon -- we both have new outfits!

xoxo,
Jigga

Jigga is a cold-blooded killer

Well, my little brother did something super naughty and made Mommy really mad. Her nostrils flared and everything. See, she had this little stuffed ghost named Le Petit Phantom that she brought out each Halloween. Le Petit Phantom went to Mommy's office and sat near the Halloween candy bowl. This year, she brought him home and set him on the coffee table. Jigga must have mistaken Le Petit Phantom for a chewlotta or maybe a Greenie because while Mommy was working, Jigga stole the little ghost from the table and started to eat him. Mommy happened to walk past the TV room and saw little white stuffing strewn about. She screamed out in terror and took Le Petit Phantom's remains from Jigga's jaws of death.

This actually happened in early November but it's just been in the past few days that Mommy has talked about the incident. Below is a pictorial that documents the terrible assault on Le Petit Phantom's little, white, fluffy body. These photos are not for the faint of heart, so proceed with caution.

The full crime scene: carcass, stuffing, and precious nose:

Le Petit Phantom's insides:

Hi little but hardly wicked little white nose that Jigga ripped so effortlessly from the little ghost's face:A close-up shot of the full damage:
Le Petit Phantom will be missed by all, but especially by Mommy. I hope that snuggles from me will make her feel better.

xoxo,
Venus

Gobble gobble, crunch crunch

Hoorah for Thanksgiving! We are really thankful this year for Stacia and Brian because they bought us some delicious cookies. See they are specially made just for doggies. We had so much fun eating them.

We also know that Thanksgiving isn't just about cookies. We know it's a time to appreciate all the people who love us and that we love -- even people we don't love, like the mailman. It's also a nice time to think about helping others that might have less than you. It is estimated that 38 million people in our country (including about 14 million children) live in poverty and often don't have enough money to eat healthy meals. If you have some extra time this week or even a few extra dollars you can help a person or a family get a hot meal on Thursday. Usually local schools, churches, and grocery stores offer ways that you can donate time, money and canned goods. You can also visit the Help the Homeless website to find city-specific projects that you might want to get involved in. We know that less fortunate people need help all of the time -- not just at holidays -- but it's a good time to start.

xoxo,
Venus & Jigga

Turtle gets rocked

Well, really, she got on her rock. When Turtle Face first moved in, we heard that she loved to lay on this really nice rock. But we didn't see her do it for so long. Finally the other night she got up on her rock to stretch her little fins:


The pictures don't come out super clear through the aquarium, but Mommy & Daddy were really excited because this makes us think that Turtle is finally feeling at home with us.

All of the attention on turtle makes Jigga a little jealous. So Mommy had to wrap him in a blanket again and put him down for a nap.

I went to my follow up today with the doggie eye doctor and I got great news. My eye is completely healed! Daddy & Mommy will still put eye goo in for one more week and then I am done and good as new. Thank you to everyone who asked about me but I am still mad that none of you sent boneless babies.

Love,
Venus

Doodle eyeball update 2007

Venus is on her way home with Daddy after her appointment with the furry baby eye care specialist. The doctor says that Venus has a small tear in the outer layer of her actual eyeball, so that is what caused the initial inflammation around the eye and is causing the continued redness. The doctor says that she could not see any remaining cloudiness in the eyeball and feels that the injured eye is dilating just fine now. She expects that the tear will heal just fine and that the injury will not cause any future vision problems for Venus. But now Venus has to get eye goo 4 times a day now, instead of 2. (For tips on how to administer eye goo & drops to your dog, visit this site.) And she has a follow up appointment next Thursday, Nov. 8. Daddy says Venus was really nervous at the doctor and did not like having her temperature taken (in her bum) but that she was a really good girl. I probably would not have been good and would have peed on the doctor and on any inanimate object I could find.

xoxo,
Bean

p.s. Venus still has not received any boneless babies.